Lately I keep thinking- "That could be a good blog entry" or "I'd love to post that on Facebook, but it's too long" or "I'd love to post that and get some feedback from people" or "I'd love to record this thought for future reference or to sort of keep track and hopefully learn from it".
So, in keeping with those thoughts and hopes, here I am again: blogging. Blogging and I don't have a great relationship, but I've been getting more involved in the blogosphere (if that's still the correct term) and want to be a part of it.
So, let's do this.
Today is Good Friday. Many say this is not exactly an appropriate title for the day on which Jesus sacrificially died on the cross for the whole world even though He didn't deserve it and didn't have to do it. The BC comic below eloquently states the irony:
Right on, BC. Right on.
Today, though, I have been thinking of it on a more personal level. My church, wcrossing.org did a Good Friday-esque service last week because they have like a billion services for Easter so they do Easter services on Friday. I really appreciated their focus on the Good Friday style service (even if it sadly meant no focus on Palm Sunday. It's a give and take, I suppose, always.). The service focused on what the cross means for us.
The point that hit me the most, and of course made me cry as most services and moments with God do lately, was when Pastor Greg explained that when Jesus cried in the garden and asked God to "take the cup" of suffering away from him, it translated, in part, to meaning "I'm homesick".
Jesus was homesick. That never occurred to me in such plain terms. Homesick. That feeling that I live with daily being 16 hours away from the place I love and call home. Homesick. The empty feeling, the feeling like you can't breath and just wish you could run, literally in my case, back home. Homesick. The feeling of missing family and friends and events that will never happen again. Homesick. The feeling of just not fitting in, not understanding the culture and not preferring the natural surroundings (I'm a desert mountain girl, and apparently that's not changing). Homesick.
In a very self-centered view, I felt so understood and so empathized with by Jesus. He totally gets it. Totally. More than I do, in fact. I realize Good Friday and the cross is not all about me- not even close. But in that moment, I felt like God was telling me "I get it. It's super hard. But you know what? I've been there. I took the cup of suffering- the homesickness. The being away from the ones who love Me and the hard times- to the nth degree because I was forsaken by my Father God. I did it so you don't have to be separated from God. I can carry you through your homesickness and hard times." In the grand scheme of things, I tend to think I'm super weak for being taken out at the knees by something like homesickness (imagine me facing cancer, I think, pretty sure I'd wimp out after the first moment). But then I heard this message and I remembered that God cares about the hairs on our heads, the details of our plans and lives and cares. More than that, He relates and walks with me in my suffering.
What the what. Amazing. God shows me again and again He is all I need. My heart needs to hear that and I need to allow it to change my heart and focus on Him and run to Him daily. A daily struggle yes, but this moment was one more way God showed me His love.
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